Thrown for a Loop
Hi everyone! Today’s edition of Worn In, Worn Out is my 50th (!!) FYI for those of you just joining us, every tenth issue I write about things I didn’t like or don’t want, just to have some fun and switch it up a bit. I’m proud of myself for hitting this milestone and (mostly) keeping up with weekly posts. Here’s to 50 more!
Cereal Killer
SCENTED FROOT LOOPS CEREAL BOWL CANDLE - CANDLELIT DESSERTS
When I was in fourth grade, my family took me on a cruise to Alaska. I have lots of good memories from that trip, but this is not one of them: lying in my narrow bunk bed, clutching my pillow with my eyes closed, the milk and Froot Loops I’d consumed that morning sloshing around in my stomach. The waves were rough and choppy, the ground undulating beneath my feet, and my will and my gastrointestinal tract were locked in a hearty struggle as to whether my breakfast would remain in its proper place or see the light of day. Unfortunately, my will lost the fight, and uh, the resultant mess kind of resembled this candle. Very sorry in advance, and if you’re a big fan of sugary cereal perhaps you’ll love this, but it’s a pass for me.
Keep a Stiff Upper Lip
First of all, I want to clarify that I did not buy this product with the intention of plumping my lips. A family friend gave it to me as part of a set, and it remained buried in a drawer for years until I unearthed it while cleaning out my bathroom cabinet, so keep in mind that perhaps extended shelf life supercharged its potency. This stuff is infused with bee venom to help enhance your lip volume, and it was like a shock to the system as soon as I applied it; what started as a pronounced, but not unpleasant tingle soon graduated to a rather severe stinging sensation. Plus, my lips didn’t end up looking like a Kardashian’s, so “beauty is pain” wasn’t even applicable here. I’ve never been stung by a bee, and — knock on wood — this lip gloss will be as close as I get.
Dressed to Protect?
BLACK LONG SLEEVE MASK BODYCON DRESS - PRETTY LITTLE THING
I came across this dress on my Twitter timeline, and I simply can’t support it, for several reasons. For one, I just don’t approve of fast fashion brands in general (this dress is made by Pretty Little Thing, and it’s selling for a measly $15.) For another, it just seems… so… extra. Are you really so forgetful that you need a built-in mask for your dress? I might be more amenable to the concept if the mask were attached to say, a big oversized sweater, but the rest of the get-up is obviously club wear, which is… counterintuitive. I will concede, however, that this dress is still a far superior alternative to the bedazzled fishnet masks PLT was selling, which, like, c’mon guys.
Tried one of my recs and loved it (or hated it)? Wanna get something cool on my radar? Drop me a line at kittylguo@gmail.com, or swing by my Twitter @kitguo!