It’s the most wonderful time of the year — gift guide season! As a big sucker for shopping lists and product recommendations, the entire month of December is my personal Coachella. For this week, I wanted to write my own holiday gift guide that may or may not have some real-life significance. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to my regularly scheduled content next week, once I’ve got my hot little hands on my Black Friday purchases.
For your mom who’s growing an indoor jungle:
If your mom threw herself into gardening as a coping mechanism for her only child going off to college, but the Homeowners Association will hassle her if she makes any radical changes to her backyard, and thus she’s decided to try growing a hydroponic garden in the bathtub, then she’ll likely appreciate some fertilizer specially designed for aquatic plants. After all, those plants are basically her surrogate kids, and, much like her real kid, she wants to make sure they eat, eat, eat.
For your dad who’s always reminiscing about when you were small:
A WINTER DAY BY DOUGLAS FLORIAN - BARNES AND NOBLE
“Remember when I used to read you A Winter Day? Where did that book go?” That book is long gone, probably sacrificed in a donation, drive, or swap, but just buy a new copy, rough it up a bit, and present it to him on Christmas day, pretending that you found it lodged in the back of your bookshelf. Then take a picture of his face — that’s your gift.
For your friend who recently adopted a hedgehog:
A TikTok account, so that she can blow up by taking cute videos of Hedgie in the bath. Hey, it worked for these guys.
For your friend who binge-watched all the seasons of Great British Bake Off and now thinks she can whip up a black forest gateau, easy:
ATECO CAKE STAND - WILLIAMS SONOMA
She’s never baked anything more complicated than chocolate chip cookies in her life, but now she’s looking up Viennese whirl recipes and subscribing to Rosanna Pansino on YouTube. Buy her a cake stand, or oven mitts, or some piping bags — whatever she needs to fulfill her French patisserie fantasies. But the best thing you can give her, when she comes bearing a tray of fruit tarts, is a big bite and a thumbs up.
For your preteen niece who loves Bath and Body Works’ fragrance mists:
MINI PERFUME GIFT SET - MOSCHINO
Bath and Body Works : middle school girls :: Axe : middle school boys. I do not have a preteen niece, but I have been a preteen niece, and when I was 12 I was spraying that shit all over myself after gym class. Encourage her to expand her olfactory palette with something a little more sophisticated, but still age-appropriate, like this mini Moschino gift set. Moschino scents are bright and sparkling and youthful, and the 5mL containers come in an ironic, whimsical spray bottle design. Let her know that a little goes a long way, though — advice I wish had been imparted to me.
For your girlfriend who sighs wistfully whenever she passes by Edible Arrangements and says “I’ve always wanted an Edible Arrangement”:
DELICIOUS FRUIT DESIGN - EDIBLE ARRANGEMENTS
Look, I don’t know how to make it any more obvious.